Fiducia Supplicans: The Clown Show Continues

The rollout of the Vatican document, Fiducia Supplicans, has sparked more episcopal outrage than the Catholic Church has seen, possibly since such devastations as the Avignon Captivity.

Entire Bishop’s Conferences throughout the world are rising up and crying “heresy”, prompting a “clarification” from the author of the document and the pope’s new righthand man, Cardinal “Tucho” Fernandez himself. The clarification reads like a patronizing and passive aggressive defense of the original statement, rather than an apology for and/or retraction of the scandalous idea that same-sex couples can and should be blessed by the Church.

The sections of Fernandez’s new doozy basically go like this:

Section 1. Doctrine: “We didn’t change the doctrine on MARRIAGE, remember? Get off our backs!”

Section 2. Practical reception: “The blessing for same-sex couples isn’t even ritualized yet, so you can do it however you want! My back… hello? You’re still on it.”

Section 3. The delicate situation of some countries: “The Africans are homophobes, anyway!”

Section 4. The real novelty of the document: “Maybe it’s just because the Declaration is new and you’re a bunch of old sticklers?”

Section 5. How do these “pastoral blessings” present themselves in concrete terms?: “The blessing for same-sex couples is super-short! [We are talking about something that lasts about 10 or 15 seconds –that’s a direct quote] So, what—you don’t have time for that? Give me a break!”

Section 6. Catechesis: “A blessing is not an endorsement, DUH!”

Sign-off: “Oh yeah, Happy New Year.”

Feel free to slog through the thing to check the breakdown, but don’t feel like you have to.

Obviously, this fixes nothing and rubs salt in the wound. Here’s hoping that Fernandez will be to the Vatican what Mulvaney was to Bud Light. Please, read the room!

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